Thursday, December 2, 2010

Extended Families

Image By: irenesuchocki

Dear Readers:

Winters with MJ's father were always more enjoyable to spend time with him. I guess to some degree he was "stuck" at home due to the weather and not free to jump on his "crotch rocket" of the year. [as he referred to his motorcycles} I held no strings for him, I did not question his travels and never apposed to his weekend adventures out on his own. Keeping in mind, we did not have cell phones or computers then, so I never had contact with him when he was away. When I think about it, he really had it good, if he had only settled into being a family man. I asked very little of him. I could do most handy projects myself {and always had MJ as a wonderful and willing assistant!} He took long weekend motorcycle trips with out any complaints from me. His money was HIS money, and for allot of the time we actually had fun together. He was a dare devil and I was an adventure junkie! When he would take off, I made sure that MJ and I did some exploring of our own. I loved going junking and spending time at my sister & brother in laws campground. MJ had a paying job there and was dependable at doing her job. She helped at the candy counter, by filling those little white candy bags full of the assorted candies that were pointed to through the glass jars. She kept track of the customer's expenses, took their money and gave change back. She was always helping keep an eye on the indoor pool and alerted one of us when kids were running around in the area. She did play ground pick up and went on garbage runs with her uncle, Roy. He let her drive the truck on the camp ground roads and taught her how to drive starting at age 5. By the time she was 8, she had a good handle on it. I suppose this is why she turned out to be an excellent driver! MJ was given the job running the golf shack the summer she was 8 years old. The campground had a mini golf coarse and she charged the customers .75 cents each and gave out the clubs and ball as well as weeding and keeping the golf coarse clean. Some might think this was allot for a kid to handle, but she enjoyed the power of being in charge and adored the payroll money she received every week. I liked that she was learning to be a productive person and excelling in math, a subject I was and still am so poor in. MJ had an extended family with my sister and they included her into many of their outings as if she were one of their own.

By no means were all of our years together as a couple bad. We did have some fun and MJ's father and I had life lessons that we taught each other. He helped me understand that my own father was not the brilliant man that he wanted his kids to think he was. He also helped me see that I was not as stupid as my father tried to convince me that I was. MJ's father showed me some fun times and I in turn did my best to make him feel that he had a home to come home to. I showered him with gifts and baked goodies for him. But most of all I kept him alive, honestly! He and I both know that he would be dead if it weren't for me.
I was always a willing passenger behind him on his motorcycles, even at 130 MPH. We went camping and fishing along with having nice visits with his folks. I think his family played a big role in why I stayed with him as long as I did. They were nice to be around and I felt that I was part of their family. I especially adored his father. That man was the father that I always wished I had. I told him that and he knew how fond I was of him. I held on for so many years, hoping his son with become more like him. My wishes never made reality, but I can say that his older brother turned out to be very much the man that their father was. How two boys can be raised within the same house hold and be so different amazes me.

Now Take Care Of Yourself,
Love, Galoshes


  1. Watching my son grow up , being a lot like the man that got me pregnant...has been interesting.
    The thing that amazes me is that by raising him away from his biological father, he still has so much of him in him. No matter how much parenting i have done to change him. I have beat myself up at times... and yet i would scoop my heart through my nose if he needed it. Being a mom is so beautiful...and so frustrating...and so so rewarding. Love reading your experiences...thank you for sharing

  2. Els,
    I am so glad you took the time to comment. You truly made a part of me feel at ease. When genetics play a role in our children, even all the love and support we give them some times might seem fruitless. We guide them, nurture them and do the best that we know how. I know what you mean about pulling your own heart out! I suppose MJ's grandmother might have felt the same way you do at some points in her life. Not that he was like his father, but his father's father.
    A good piece of advise that could be given by yourself and me to selective of the man which you choose to have children with, even as far as looking into his family background.