Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Fitting In

Photo By: mfayrephotography

August, 1991


When I was growing up my parents made the choice to keep my sister, brother and I each in the same school district for the entire K - 12. To me, this had it's ups and downs. For my brother, it was the perfect choice as he loved being involved in school activities and made friends easily. He was a football and track star through out his school years and has kept in touch with his peers after graduating. For my sister, I suppose it made no difference as she just did the time and got out as quickly as she could, which for her was age 17, at which time she moved out of the house the same day as graduation. I recall that we once went to look at a big, old farm house with a barn and I wanted so badly for them to buy it and to move there. It must have been further away from my sister's then boyfriend, now husband, as she was very upset that I was in favor of moving.She gave me that,

In the end, my parents stuck to their agreement and kept us in the same house with the same school system. For me, I would have loved to have moved and reinvented myself. I never did fit into any of the clicks and though I was younger than most of my classmates, I felt so much older and mature than they were. I dreaded going to school and felt that it was a waste of my time when I could be working and earning money at a job with that time that I was enduring classroom time.
So with this I hope that you will adjust to the choice that you will be starting this upcoming school year in a new school. It is my hopes that you are able to easily make friends and find your way to fit into a new group of peers.
The reason for this you might wonder? I called your father today to tell him that since he did not bother to call us once or come to visit us all summer that he must be adapting well on his own and so it should come to no surprise that we would not be returning home for the upcoming school year.
I have found a new sense of being on my own and with the support and love of my sister and brother in law, we will continue to reside here. You and I,
MaryJanes, we will make this our new home and take each day as it comes. I will love you enough for two people and maybe more.

Now study hard.
Love, Galoshes


  1. This post has been a long time waiting as life just got busy. So, hopefully we are back in the swing of things and will make better habits of continuing on with our story.

    And as a side note, MaryJanes, I love and adore you. You inspire me so very often. How did you turn out to be so normal? God knows I made the mistake of waiting too many years for your father to grow up, and yet to this date, he never has. I am so sorry that I did not have the insight to walk away from him and stay away. Had I only done so, I certainly would have been a PERFECT mother....:smirk & a hug:
    Love, Galoshes.

  2. Sounds like you did what you needed to do, when you were ready to do it...XO

  3. Linda,
    Yes, I did eventually walk away and stay away, but why on God's green earth did I waste so much time on such a worthless effort? To this day, I can not answer this, unless it is to say that I had to go through that to get where I am today. But I worry that it was at MaryJanes expense. And the odd twist of it all is that I stayed with him because he was her father.
    If there is anyone reading along that is in a destructive relationship, get out now! You should not have to try to mother your spouse. They should help you parent your child!
    It's so clear now. Crystal!

  4. I think you WERE in a learning process...and most women are taught to try and keep things together. I think you were an incredibly strong woman to break away...

  5. Great post! You have been missed!
    My mom and dad had the same idea to stay in the same place throughout school! I was always a little odd, kind of a square peg I guess. My sister was completely opposite! I never quiet fit in but moving would have been hard on me because I was also painfully shy and didn't like change. I eventually grew out of it and owned my unique quality's and it turned out fine. My hope is that my girls would be able adapt easily if we were to move. I think that they would.

    You are strong for making the choice to get out of the relationship. I have known several women in similar situation that never really figured it out.

    By the way, I have not had a migraine in weeks! Thank you so much for your advice! :)

  6. I'm so glad you updated. I'd missed the adventures of MaryJanes & Galoshes. It's like a wonderful story unfolding on my computer screen!


  7. Julie & Tiff,
    I am so glad you choose to stick around even when we neglected on posting our letters. We will be more on top of posting from here on out!
    Julie, you said you are strong for getting out, but I am afraid I ended up going back after that, I was suckered in with very false promises, and so the saga will continue for a bit longer. I am so looking forward to posting the happy and funny letters as time goes by. One of the things I remember worrying about was loosing health insurance for MJ & I. I did not know there were options out there for single low income mothers. I wish I had been better informed or sought out counsel! I feel like times have changed now and that young women see their options. We didn't have cell phones or computers or ipods etc, so I was not informed on alternative options that might have been available for us. Then too, I was raised with you take care of yourself, and don't ask for help. So even if I had known where to turn, I would have been brain washed not to use any resources. I am strong now. But back then, I am afraid I wasn't.
    Tiff, I am so glad to hear that your headaches are lifting. I hope you continue to have that success!
    I can not thank all of you enough for taking the time to send a comment our way. I truly put a constant smile on my face!