Thursday, July 15, 2010

Becoming You

Dear MaryJanes,
It is March 19th 1982 and you were just conceived. I know this for fact, without the consult of a doctor. I am sure of this because I know my own body, and as of right now, I am less than 1 hour pregnant with you.
I am not married, and your father is not the man that I should be with. He is wild and unpredictable and certainly not the settling down sort of guy. I am sorry that I have put you in this position. It is not the life that I had envisioned for one of 5 children that I plan to have in my imaginary life that I will never live. I was suppose to find my soul mate, he would propose on bended knee, we would have a small simple wedding, buy a house to make our home and then start our family. I am suppose to have the white picket fence, stay at home and teach you the ABC’s, bake you cookies and raise you in a loving environment. I was born for this role, everything about me reads like a classic love story. Yet, within a split second I have taken another route. So, ok, I can make this work. You may wonder, did I ever once consider an abortion even as your father made the suggestion? NO! I do not feel it is my business to make that choice for anyone but myself, and for me, this is not an option. You are part of God’s plan for me. I am about to exit my teens and enter my twenties, I live in an efficiency apartment with my dog, and just barely making ends meet, by working full time in a pointless job.
Ok, so first lesson to make sure I let you know:
Life is not a fairy tale and the handsome young prince does not ride up on his white stallion a scoop you up and make your life all dreamy. {and a side note, you really should not ride stallions, a mare or gelding are better choices for riding}
So here you are, growing and preparing to become your own person and how can I teach you to be a successful human when I don’t even know what I am doing? I am still a kid myself. I don’t have life figured out yet, not even close.

I have so many dreams for you, so here is a list of select things I want you to know:

1: Count on yourself! Trust your gut instincts, be a leader and not a follower.
2: You are smart, funny, bright and can achieve anything you set your sights on. I want you to be confident as well as independent and determined. Strive for those things.
3: Adults are just people, they make mistakes, teachers, sales clerks, policeman and politicians all make mistakes and none are better than the other. Don’t ever think you have to follow a narrow path as to what others might expect you too…’s ok to color outside of the lines!
4: Just try it, explore, don’t be afraid of failure. Fear will hold you back from your dreams.
5: Treat others with respect, but don’t let anyone take advantage of you.
6: Find a mate that loves you for exactly who you are, and love them for exactly whom they are, don’t fall in love with someone that needs to be changed or corrected or feels that you need to bend to their likes. Be you.
7: Find out what makes you happy and make your living doing that. Don’t take a job that you dislike, unless it is temporary to help in getting you to your dream job. And keep in mind, money does not equal happiness, happiness is being the person you choose to be and doing what you love to do.
8: Spend time alone, practice alone time, learn to entertain yourself because there will be times when you are alone, and it should be time well spent and enjoyed.
9: Show compassion for others. Life is full of Karma and if you mess up, Karma will kick you flat on your butt.
10: Laugh at your self. Stomp in the puddles, lick the cookie dough from the beaters and stay young at heart.
11: Know that what ever life brings you, I am in your corner. I will be honest with you, encourage you and let you know when you have messed up. The more you show me you are responsible, the more freedoms you will receive. Even though I am young, I know that I am capable of raising you to become a self confident. strong and independent free spirit. So when you grow up, I expect that you will become someone very special! Now Sit Up Straight And Cross Your Legs!


  1. ....beautifully written, so soulful~~and lovely photography adds to the charm....

  2. really beautiful & heartfelt. i am so honored my work has a role in your lyrical storytelling. thanks so very much for that and for sharing your words of wisdom. :)

  3. LOVE the them behind the blog and love the letter!

  4. oh my. what a lovely idea and an amazing first post! it's hard to believe that amazing letter was written by someone in their teens! so insightful and brilliant!

  5. Beautiful :) Are these letters from your mom to you?

  6. I love love love this! I can't wait to read more!

  7. LOVE IT... so beautiful. I also wrote to my daughter all through the years. when she became a teenager, we bought a cute journal and would write letters to each other and leave them under the others pillow. switching back and forth. We did this for years. I love that my daughter is my best friend!

  8. What a beautiful idea! I don't remember ever being this insightful in my early teens :( This is going to be a wonderful blog to read, and glean some wisdom. Thanks for sharing your heart with the world.

  9. This is so nice. I am looking forward to seeing where this blog goes. And you have inspired me to get writing to this babe in my belly.

  10. Very well done. I look forward to reading your letters. And the photography is beautiful as well.

  11. Oh, I see that I was too late to offer my opinion on header color (you did pick the one I liked. yay!), but I know that this is going to be one of my favorite blogs - I can see that already! Wonderfully written! Wonderful idea! MORE! :)

  12. I love this premise for a blog, I am going to follow. Who is Mary Jane and Galoshes. I understand that they are Mother and daughter...Are you the mother or the daughter? Is your mother or your daughter writing this with you? This is going to be like reading a continual novel!

    thanks Carol

  13. Carol.
    Thanks for asking, My name is Lisa, I am the mom, {Galoshes} and my daughter is Taylor {MaryJanes} from
    We are both writing. The letters from Love, Mom are from me writing to her, and the Dear, Mom letters will be written by Taylor. They are letters we have written to each other beginning with mine in 1982 to current. Some of the letters will be based on experiences, many of them had already been written and exchanged, then tucked away. We have saved them through out the years. The letters that mean the most to me are when she was 17 and in South Carolina going through basic training in the military....I bet many of you followers from MJ&G didn't know this about her. You probably also don't know that she had been in Miss Teen Wisconsin just a few months before leaving for basic training. Taylor is a girlie girl, blond and blue eyed and certainly not the basic training type. Trust me when I say, I wrote her every day, some times a few times a day. These letters are true, and this blog will be joint effort of the both of us.
    She and I have a crazy, fun and wonderful relationship and I hope you enjoy the adventure through our letters. This blog will be solely the letters between her and I, and yes, I guess it will read like a novel.

  14. That was so honest and beautiful. Thank you for sharing this blog with us.

  15. beautiful!! Thanks for sharing it with us.