Mom,
Hello. I'm scared mom. I don't want to be here. Sure the people are real nice and the drill sergeants are just doing their jobs, things aren't right here. We are not allowed enough time for everyone to shower, the girls are always bitching at each other, I get dropped every time Johnson messes up, I had to ask a question because I didn't understand some directions and I was told to get out of the drill sergeants face before he kills me. I cried in church today praying to get through this. We haven't ran at all since we got here and all of a sudden tomorrow we have to run 2 miles timed. They are taking a ton of $ out of my paycheck that they didn't tell us about, $50 some a month for laundry whether we send it in or not, $315 for supplies, and now I guess we might have our graduation date changed again to a few days earlier. I just want to come home. I know how proud I would be if I made it, but right now I feel abused. I'm dirty and confused, lied to, not given toilet paper. I was tempted to call you in the middle of the night and ask you to call and say a grandmother had died and I needed to come home that day and then found a way for me to stay home, which isn't that hard since I'm 17.
Some people here are sick in the head I swear it. I knew this wasn't going to be easy, not all fun, but I feel abused. I will be so happy when I get out of here. Tomorrow is going to be the worst day of my life. I can't stop crying tonight. I want to come home so bad despite how proud I would feel to graduate. This is over the edge. Human decency is questionable here.
But I have to get to sleep yet again the familiar sounds of ambulances and girls telling stories of being cornered and yelled at being told around me.
♥ Always,
MaryJanes
Miss you! Kisses
Oh wow, Taylor.
ReplyDeleteYou are SO strong to have gotten through that.
Reading it now I feel like it sounds so dramatic. I guess I have a hard time remembering where I was at mentally during this. I remember noticing how much others were breaking down and feeling like I wasn't, but reading this it's clear there was a break down in me. Really I was mostly very homesick. I'm a pretty tough cookie so yelling at me wasn't a big threat, push comes to shove and I yell right back.
ReplyDeleteMaryJanes
Oh it sounds like you were having a hard time at this point...like you just needed a good hug and to be home!
ReplyDelete