Keeping Busy

July 1987

Dear MaryJanes,

If I were with the right man right now, I would have given you a sibling. I have forgotten about the pain of child birth and have had the desire to have another baby. Your father would have no part of this notion, and I know in my heart that this would not be either wise or financially feasible. So for now, you will remain an only child. I once again have had my limit your father's wild ways and lack of responsibility. He and I are separating once again and I have no idea of the outcome. But for right now, you and I will move on and take a break from your father's drinking and lack of participation in our family.
My parent's house has been divided into two separate living quarters and we have made the smaller portion our home. It's nice to have a 2 bedroom place with affordable rent, as it makes for more comfortable living. There is a little girl a couple of years older than you that lives near by and the two of you play together. She comes to our house often and I get the impression that her home life is less than desirable. When she is over playing, she invites herself to stay for meals and quite often asks if she can spend the night. I worry about her and why she has a preference to spending so much time with us rather than with her own mother.

Image by Alicia Bock

I am now a nanny for another family that is about to go through a divorce. I was unaware of this situation when I was hired. The husband is an accountant and lawyer an she is a middle school principle. They have two little girls and you enjoy going to play with them every day. I am on a salary and making better money than with the previous family, though there is more stress and still long hours. Both girls are enrolled in about every activity under the sun and so they never seem to have time just to be children at play. We shuffle from the father's house one day to the mothers the following, some times not knowing which home the children will be having supper at. An added job duty is preparation of supper for each family. The father likes big roasts, potatoes, vegetables, bread followed by dessert. The mother on the other hand, has told me that she is happy with anything. As a result, when I am over at the fathers house, a lot of preparing for the last meal of the day takes place. This changes when we are at the mothers house, a big tossed salad and french bread suits her just fine.
The youngest daughter, Lizzie is now enrolled in gymnastics and when we went the first time it broke my heart to have to watch you sit on long the side lines and observe. You beg to go play, and I don't blame you. I find a pay phone and call your father to see if he might contribute towards your enrollment. I do my best to express your desires, but it falls onto deaf ears. He has no interest in such a contribution. I will not let this detour me, as I get out my check book and enroll you in the following classes. I feel like a toddler as I tell him, "I can do it myself!" You will not sit in the side lines next class.

Image by Bonnie Jones

The other day we went to K-Mart and I bought you a Snoopy fishing pole. Sometimes after work we drive to a near by pond and I show you how to fish. I get the impression that you don't much care for the worms and you really don't get the whole concept of sitting in the grass and throwing a line into the water. The Snoopy bobber would be so much better to dress up in a cute outfit rather than watching him float in dirty pond water.

Now play nice.

Love,
Galoshes